It has been horribly long since I have written anything here. I’ve been debating for a while now, eliminating my personal blog…I’m not quite sure what to do just yet. I know I could write a gazzillion posts about how much I love my kids and how challenging parenting can be. But this has always been a place for where I want to put my thoughts. What moves me, what goes on in my head. Just the other day, I was complaining of Facebook to my friends about how I want new glasses, a new haircut, possibly a tattoo and to get in shape.
I lack the motivation to get in shape. I really do. I look to Mr. Magoo to motivate me…and sadly he looks to me to motivate him. FAIL. Fail all around.
All my friends say to me “you don’t need to loose weight, you look great!”, “you’re so thin!”, “I’d love to look like you.” It’s nice of them to amuse me, when inside I feel awful about my body. Having a child children ruins your body completely, unless you are one of the lucky ones. My second pregnancy ruined my abdominal muscles for good – and if I ever want that cute little innie bellybutton of mine back, I’m looking at plastic surgery (which my PCP said she would gladly give me a referral and they could fix my minor umbilical hernia while they were at it). I don’t like the idea of plastic surgery – or any surgery. Sure, I’d love to have the perfect body again, but going under the knife scares me too much. The thought of the recovery scares me even more. I’m not in pain, so I’ll pass.
Over the past 5 years or so…I have had no time for myself in regards to taking care of myself. Little Pookie Pie turns two this week – TWO. I can’t believe it….but I am finally at the point where I know I need to make a change. I need to eat right (not a bag of chips while the kids nap because it was the only food they let me shovel down my throat all day) and exercise…because although I might look alright to others, I don’t feel alright about me. When I brush my teeth, my stomach and muffin top jiggle about and I don’t like it. It doesn’t feel good on me. And where I know that Mr. Magoo and my friends and family love me no matter what I look like, squishy bits an all…I am not happy with how I look.
So here goes….I’m hoping to knock off at least 10lbs to get to my goal weight. I once had a bellydance photo of myself showcasing my nice once flat abs…so here is an oldie of me on my honeymoon in 2006 (yes, I did the cheesy tourist shot)
THIS is how I look now. Yes, I’m putting it out there.
Ick, my poor stomach. So wish me luck! I’m hoping to keep a little journal…maybe…of progress here. Baby steps, right?
ETA: starting weight – 138.8lbs height: 5’6″
i feel ya.
30 day shred- it sucks but if i can do it (mostly) then you can. pretty promise.
because i.am.so.lazy.