Surprisingly…at least to myself, I am not perfect.
One of my greatest flaws in life is my stubbornness. I take it to extremes…and where it does me well, to get what I want in life, it does damage where it shouldn’t. It is terrible and I shake my head at myself, with my stubbornness.
As mentioned before, my best female friend and I had a tiff. I honestly thought our friendship was over. Really, I truly did. I really thought we were “broken up”. My hot head flared and my heels dug in…as always. We have apologized…but there is something that divides us, if we let it…the age old debate of working mom vs. stay-at-home mom. I hate that moms have to be divided into categories like that, as really, we are all on the same plight to do what is right and what is best for our families at the time.
Some moms, like myself, needed to stay home as the means of my take home paycheck would have gone straight into daycare. Others have to work to support a level of income or even carry the health insurance these days.
We all make sacrifices though, as moms. Those that work rush like mad in the morning to get everyone ready, kiss their littles goodbye at their caretakers for the day, juggle staying home when the little ones are sick, racing to work and racing home just to see the sweet face of their babe and cuddle, all while making dinner and trying to spend time as a family before bedtime and missing their little one so much while at work.
Stay-at-home moms, at least like me, don’t buy new clothes too often…I’m constantly trying to find free things to do for the family, deal with nap schedules, daily activities, errands (dump runs for me)…going to the playground to be faced with that group of moms that just won’t include you…or your kids. Pressure for playdates and socializing your child, even at an extremely young age, constantly trying to not lose who you are as a person as you have barely no adult contact during the day. And the guilt as well, of wanting “you” time…even just a quiet drive in the car alone for 10 minutes and the guilt of not contributing financially to your family.
Really, working mothers and stay-at-home moms have it about the same – it isn’t easy either way.
Yes, I totally understand that mom’s that are home have hard times as well as mom’s that work. For me being a working mom I hate the guilt that I feel like people look at me like “you barely spend time with your child”, which yes I am not with him ALL day but I am with him from 2 until he goes to bed, every weekend, every vacation and all summer. I also hate having to juggle daycare issues when my little one is sick, or sitter’s child is sick or weather issues. I also hate when I can tell he is not feeling 100% and I still need to bring him to d/c. Also I feel like I never get a break working during the day then on full time with LO as soon as I am home. Also I have HUGE guilt on weekends not spending every moment with him because I work during the week.
I feel like you have always understood my point of view as a working mom as well as I understand your point of view as a stay at home mom. I think that as soon as you have a child you have GUILT no matter if you work or stay at home. Being a woman is a wonderful thing huh?
Anyway you look at it I think we are all moms and all great moms at that!!!!
My mom was a working mom as you know, but my gram was a stay at home mom from when my mom was born and oh yeah she still as as she still has kids and grandkids at home. I was always in awe of both of them. They both seemed to do it all, effortlessly, I didn’t know till I was an adult having long talks with my Mom, that she felt a lot of guilt for not always being there for everything and for relying on my Gram to pick up the slack. I had always hoped if I decided to have kids that I could be half the mom that they are/were.
Having known you for a long time now, I know this one thing to be true. You are an awesome Mom!! Your kids are very lucky to have you. I can’t speak to all the rest but you may not be perfect, but you are the perfect Mom for your little ones (like I tell the hubster he may not be perfect but he is perfect for me). Hugs!!!