It is funny how you think your life is going in one direction, when it suddenly veers off the path. Going off the beaten path isn’t such a bad thing and I suppose the Lord has a plan for everything. I seem to lose Faith an awful lot – not in God, but more so in myself, my abilities – I never give myself enough credit and am always judging myself based on what others seem to think of me…at least sometimes.
My parents were up for a little visit yesterday and I happened to tell them something about my life’s endeavors….”Oh, well good luck with that.” Now, I am not saying that they are not supportive in what I do with my life, they always have been…but it made me feel like I was doing the wrong thing, that I was inept and somewhat not capable of fulfilling what I needed to do with my life…then began the thoughts of “What if I can’t…” and in came the doubt.
Those two little words cut more than anything “I can’t…” So sad. I know that “I can.” But for some reason feel the need to be validated – I really need to knock that off. Some of my friends have been extremely supportive. Others not so much – but I really don’t know why I even care. I guess we all yearn to be validated at some level.
I am standing on the verge of something big and I couldn’t be happier. I’m going with the happiness.
No one can deter me from that – not even a dark abyss.
oh i sooo know how you feel!!! any time other than when we found out we were pg, my family did the “youre kidding me right?” sarcastic tone and all. Ya thanks for that mom,dad, sisters. thats what i need right about now. and when i told my dad a few weeks ago he said to me, we were just in shock im behind you 100% its your life and as long as youre happy im happy…. well it sure as shit didnt seem like that when we broke you the news but….
Im excited for you guys!!!!!