I have this habit of getting into my own head and not being able to get out. I get in my own way a lot. As of late I have been feeling like I cannot get ahead at all, with anything. My house is a disaster. Who knows when my baskets of laundry will get put away or my kitchen island will get decluttered.
I see repainting that needs to be done (or at least I want it done) and my home is still not the way I really want it to be…we need new furniture like nobody’s business….but I feel like we can’t get ahead. I desperately need a camera upgrade, but cannot justify the cost when I look at my children who need things and we have bills to pay. I see people pass me by with their successes and I wonder why I am being held back. Or at least I feel that I am being held back. Maybe it is my lack of finances for certain things, maybe it is my lack of motivation….or maybe it is because it just isn’t time for me yet and that I am where I need to be.
Because I am blessed to be able to have moments like this every day….and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I think about where my future will go and although I don’t want to be defined as just another stay-at-home-mom, I realize that although I may not mean something great to someone else in terms of a career… but I mean the world to my family and when all is said and done, that is all that truly matters to me. They don’t care that I’m not a good enough photographer…or that my clothes have stains on them (or at least the majority of them)…or that I’m not out saving lives every day, they are happy just the way I am…a quirky loveable mom, that lives life with great passion and who has her plate full most days. I am so thankful for everything God has blessed me with in my life and know that He is continuously guiding me down the path I need to go.
